The Quick Fix Club

So, I’ve decided that I like quick fixes.  I mean, who doesn’t.  When I want pizza–I can call, order, have my pizza to my front door in 30 minutes.  I don’t even have to leave the comfort of my comfy pants & couch.  If I want information I just open my nifty computer and type into my handy google bar what I’m looking for.  I don’t even have to open a separate google page–it’s already at my fingertips when I open my web browser.  And I can find any piece of information I’m looking for.  Who that funny actor is that I saw in a preview, how many days until the Spring solstice, who wrote that great song I just heard on Grey’s Anatomy, etc.  Anything I want on the information super highway I can have in SECONDS, people.  Seconds.  I’ll continue my point further…if I want to rent a movie, all I have to do is sit and scan through thousands of titles (again on my computer), click it, and then bam…it’s in my mailbox the next day.  But let’s say I am really needing instant gratification…I can just go to a site and download a movie right to my computer.  NO waiting.  No build-up.  Nada.  It’s all at my fingertips.

So why all my ranting?  Well I’ve decided that the society that I find myself in…that being “The Quick Fix Club” is toxic for my soul.  Here’s why….

Because when I have something in my life that needs a “quick fix” and that “quick fix” (whatever it might be) is unavailable to me, it drives me INSANE.  I spend all of this heart and soul energy on how I can get “it” faster.  When really…some things are a slow process.  Some things are not meant to be a quick fix at all.  Yet I am so desperate because I’ve been trained this way and it’s hard for me to understand that most things are better with delayed gratification.  Here are some of the things in life that are hard for me with instant satisfaction vs. delayed gratification.  

a. When I wake up one morning and decide I’d like to have Kate Beckinsale’s body instead of mine…I get super motivated, go to the gym EVERY day for a week and am absolutely PISSED that by day 7 my abs resemble the same abs that I started with on day number 1. 

b. When I meet a guy.  I have had the tendency in the past (which I have TOTALLY now outgrown) to want to rush things.  Why, oh, why would you want to do that?  It’s because I see people in these wonderful relationships and am envious.  So being a quick fixer, suddenly after bumping into strange, cute boy at the grocery store I see us walking down the aisle hand in hand…and I don’t mean the frozen food aisle.  Get it?

c.  My guitar playing skills.  I am a decent guitar player.  But I could certainly be better.  I want to be better.  I watch Jill play the guitar and I’m like wow…she can just play so well.  So I compare…I have been playing guitar for 5 years….Jill has been playing the guitar for 15 years.  That’s a whole extra 10 years of practicing, playing, learning…yet I still somehow think that after practicing really hard for two days that my skills are going to magically re-invent themselves.

It’s obvious why these are some of the things that I combat in my need for quick fixes.  Every 5 seconds on TV, I’m bombarded with commercials promising the loss of 50 million pounds with only the swallow of a tiny pill, or Eharmony & Match.com reaching out to us lonely unattached folk–selling that there is that special someone that is waiting for you and is just ONE click away.

So–that’s my deal folks.  I feel like I’ve been doing some soul searching and that’s what I’ve come up with. I think some of best things in life are things that you have to work long and hard for…not everything, but most things.  That’s what I’m going to be working on. Trying to gain perspective.  Change, even very small change, is still change and is part of a greater process.  Growth, even when it’s very small, is still growth.  I’m trying to slow down, take it all in and see life in real-life-even-though-it’s-hard-cause-I-want-it-all-RIGHT-NOW-motion.  I know we’ve heard it all before but it’s the journey not the destination.  

Love,

kate

27 Responses to “The Quick Fix Club”

  1. LC Says:

    You’re stronger than I. I’m still waiting for my house to clean itself and to lose 15 with the click of a button.

    I applaud you and your decision. You have inspired me to work on changing my thinking as well…now if I can only figure out how to make that change quick and easy…

  2. jenielle Says:

    love it! Thank you for your honesty. I as well am not so fond of the journey all my energy is focused on the destination. Thanks for the reminder to be encouraged by the small things.

    Love and miss you bunches,
    Jan

  3. Anakellya Says:

    aww it sounds like you’re putting youeself down a bit 😦 i am exactly the same with the guitar by the way, i get so jealous of all these rockstars and when i practise singing, i sooo wanna be able to play better too! but you’ve just gotta persevere (: you’re an amazing singer anyway, you should be thankful for that, some people can’t sing and i couldn’t imagine life without a voice =(

    and i completely agree with what you finished with:
    ‘I think some of best things in life are things that you have to work long and hard for’
    some things are easy to get quick fixes for , like you said, getting dvds via internet, pizza via phone… etc. but i actually find life can be fun when you go out and get the pizza or get a dvd, and then you can enjoy it more afterwards. kind of like a reward for your effort in getting up! haha

    anyways i’m going on a bit aren’t i? haha.

    xx

  4. vanilla Says:

    kate life’s quicks fixes are good for some things but the best things are worth waiting for !!!!!!

    u dont need to have kate beckinsale’s body you are you, and from when i last saw u, u loooked fine to me, i think we put to much pressure on ourselves to look like someone else, we are who we are, dont change to please someone else

    i totally get the pizza, net, movies quick fixes as for ur guitar playing keep at it you’ll get there

    :):)

  5. Erin Says:

    Oh my gosh i LOVED this. This is like my daily life story in my head and you definitely just put some perspective on it. Wow. I don’t know if I didn’t read this that I would make it though my day ahead, waking up at 5:30.(NOT A MORNING PERSON! 🙂 ) but now i j.u.s.t might. Yay for optimism. Thanks girl!

  6. Amanda Says:

    I get that completely. I’m usually the person that tells my loved ones to slow it down, what’s the rush? The point of life is to enjoy it, not hurry it along. The best things come to those who wait, right? Yada yada yada. But at the same time I get soooo frustrated waiting sometimes. Then I realize if I want something bad enough that it will come to me eventually. If I work hard enough for it, wait it out, whatever. Maybe not in the form that I had hoped for (because honestly what is the likelihood of marrying the strange, cute boy at the grocery store or waking up looking like Kate Beckinsale?? Who, by the way, you are far prettier than anyways.) You just have to step back and look at the bigger picture. Besides, are these “quick fixes” really going to make you just oh so happy in the long run? Probably not. Although quick fix pizza is always nice. But yeah, I find myself quick fixing too, and then it’s like… really Amanda?? Chill out. On one last note… ughhhh guitar. My older sister has always been the better musician. However she’s also been the one who has been working at it longer and harder than me, so should I really be envious? We were both blessed with pretty voices, but while I have a lower range, she has the range of an opera singer. She can sing all over the charts. When I was younger I would compare myself to her a lot… and often said “Ugh, I wish I was just as good as her.” But when she offered to help me… I would take her up on it and then get upset when I wasn’t singing like her in a week or two. Sometimes I even uttered the “Ugh, I will never be as good as her.” phrase that is often found with little-sister-syndrome. But whatever. I outgrew that too, but to this day I sometimes wonder how she “got” the better range or whatever. Then I think about how when she was 13 and 14-years-old and and she studied and trained in opera like a crazy person. So although a lot of it has to do with natural ability, I’m sure if I had the disciple that she had at that age, I might be very well on my way to singing like her too. Now I’m not so stuck on the voice thing because as I get older I find lower voices sexier anyway (oh my big sister wouldn’t like that I just said that) but I still get hung up on the “Ahhh, she still plays guitar so much better than me.” Then I remember… not only has she studied voice at a professional level for years now, but she’s also been playing guitar since she was old enough to hold one. My parents gave the same opportunity to me, but I was too hyperactive as a tot to sit still and learn it. At 16-years-old I decided to finally take it up, but my sister has had YEARS more experience than me. So has my dad (he plays too) as well as a lot of my musician friends. One day I’m sure I’ll be able to play like them too, but it’s going to take a bit of time and a lot more effort before I do get to their levels. I wish I could change that right now and be able to pick up a guitar and wail on it, but we have to take the same baby steps that everyone else had to take. Also, our timeline may not be the same one for everyone else, so comparing ourselves to others really isn’t fair to us, is it? Gossssh, I really do talk a lot. Haha. But yeah. I need a quick fix coffee. Starbucks drive-thrus are ace. Laterrrr.

  7. Amanda Says:

    Oh wow. There goes my novel comments again. Hahaha. I think this was longer than the one I left on Jill’s update. Yikes.

  8. Amanda Says:

    discipline* not disciple… I’m glad I can type. This is my last comment, I swear. There needs to be an edit button on these comments yo. I’m really going to get coffee now. Mornings do not start until I have my coffee.

  9. Pam Says:

    oh wow this pretty much fits my life. i feel the same way about everything you said, including the relationship part. recently, i’ve noticed that i’m probably one of the pickiest people when it comes to guys. my friend gave me a deadline a few months ago to find someone by, and it didn’t work out. honestly, a relationship, along with other things like looking for the right house, takes time. you can’t rush it and have to work hard to find the best.

    so that pretty much didn’t have to do with your post, but i thought i’d share haha.

    but, i love the post Kate.

    oh btw- i played the guitar for about 6 months in school, and then i stopped over the summer (2 months) and when i went back i forgot how to play. that sucked!

  10. M Says:

    Well, this post definitely gets a standing o! I don’t think you’ll find anyone who won’t agree with some of it. I definitely believe that the best things in life are worth waiting for (which isn’t easy when you sometimes have the impatience of a 5-year old on Christmas morning.) Good luck to you with this new outlook.

  11. Jennifer Says:

    Ditto Ditto and Ditto again!

    The weight thing and getting a better body bugs me because I am a chubby chubby girl and I’ve been doing a whole eating healthily, walking EVERYWHERE and exercising. As of yet I haven’t seen much of a result except some of my jeans now fall down and don’t fit anymore. But the areas I want to loose weight in…nope doesn’t happen. I know I’ll get there if I keep at it, but it’s hard. I reeeeeaaalllly miss chocolate.

    The relationships stuff yeah I’m the same there is currently guy who works in starbucks who is soooooo nice (and isn’t helping me stop my starbucks addiction that ontop of gingerbread lattes, which are also sooo bad for my diet) but I can’t help but be like head in the clouds imaginging life with him lmfao. I’m like aaah stop!

    My worst one at the moment is my degree I’m trying to do my dissertation (10,000 words of hell!) and I feel like it should all be so easy and be done without a problem. Yet there realllly isn’t a quick fix to it..I’m having to so much research and without that I’m not going to get anything done. Yet I feel like there should be some easy way so that by christmas I have the 10,000 words rough copy ready for semester 2 so that I can enjoy my large cast performance and not stress out and feel like my head is going to explode!
    Then of course worrying about finding a job for after my degree isn’t going to be easy at all so yet another slow process that I feel like should be quick.

    Btw I so started to read this and I was like “Very deep thoughtful random thinking…..yeah this is Kate Blogging”

    I also want to knock some sense in to ya (wow sound like my mum much) because wanting Kate Beckinsale’s body? Dude I’d kill for your body you look fine so don’t stress it!

  12. Panalee Says:

    I think that in the world we live in right now, it’s hard not to be in the “Quick fix club”. As you said things are really just a click away. When you actually think about it, how would we live and survive in the world that our Grandparents lived in or even our own parents.

    Our generation, and especially this new generation are spoiled and coddled from birth. We grew up where we see things like itunes, google, ebay, myspace, facebook, high-tech phones, etc…and we remember what it was like without those. Having to go to the store and pick up a copy of our favorite CD and what not…those days for the kids growing up today are long gone.

    So really, without making this incredibly long…it’s ok to be that way and it’s even better to learn that life isn’t a quick fix. It shouldn’t be…where would it end…what kind of determination would we have if everything was so easy? Life isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s full of ups and downs so that when you have your “up” you’ll look back and be proud of all the hard work it took you to get where you are.

    You’re already a great example of that…you didn’t wake up one day and be this awesome musician with tons of people loving your music. You didn’t wake up and be getting ready to release your 2nd EP. You didn’t wake up one day and just been able to just work on your music…what you love to do….you get my point 🙂 You’ve worked long and hard to do what you are doing right now and I know I speak for many people when I say…that’s inspiring. No matter what we have decided to do in life, you are an inspiration for many of us…you and Jill of course. I know I’ve said it before but you’re an amazing person Kate. You have great things to say and have a great outlook…more people should be like you 🙂

    Great blog, BTW 😉

  13. Christina Says:

    I love this post.

  14. Erin Says:

    that’s deep kate.
    i also have that relationship problem.
    all we can do is try to be better.
    🙂

  15. Monica Says:

    Wow, is all i’ve gotta say.
    This is def in the top blogs, along with the crying one.
    Props to you! And taking time definitely has been one of the problems for me, lately. We all seem to like the quickest way, but the cliche is true: What’s worth having is worth fighting (and working) for.

  16. Regine Says:

    This was a great blog. It’s a great reminder that things still come in due time, and you have to be patient. A lot of us don’t seem to have the patience to wait for results – like you said “instant gratification.” Sometimes you gotta take a journey to truly appreciate what’s at the end of it. You end up appreciating not only what you got at the end, but everything it took you to get there.

    Thank you so much for posting this! I think this is excellent and wise advice (especially on my birthday!). I know the message, but to live it can be difficult. Oh to be wiser…but that doesn’t come in a day. As you’ve talked about, it requires patience, time, and experience.

  17. Julie Says:

    I so love your rants!!! Maybe the reason we all feel the need to loose weight is because of all the “Quick Fixes!” Frankly you are beautiful just the way you are!! I do see a large number of overweight people, including myself, and the reason so many of us are overweight is directly related to quick fixes. You want dinner you nuke it. We want a clean house we hire someone. We want the lawn done we pay someone. We park at the front door and ride the elevator. Gone are the days doing physical work – everything is automated!!

    Done ranting!

  18. Beth Says:

    Amen.
    When I feel like this I listen to Baz Lurhmen’s “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen”. No matter how many times I listen to it, it always puts things into perspective for me. Great song.

  19. Elaine Says:

    Awesome post! I feel the exact same way a lot of the time. Like with guitar, I first got one when I was 12 and because I wasn’t instantly able to play I gave up. Then I spent the next 12 years regretting my lack of ‘stick-with-it-ness’ until finally last year I picked it up again. Now I can’t stop playing but I also can’t stop wishing I’d stuck at it years ago, ’cause I could be so much better. Oh well…

    I love when you spend ages working at something and get to enjoy the result. I spent a summer working in a bakery and I hate baking LOL, but I couldn’t help feeling proud of myself every time something edible emerged from the oven 😀

  20. maybestefi Says:

    The instant gratification generation (including you and me) is part of the reason our global culture is changing. We outsource our “mundane” work to other countries for pennies on the dollar. We look down on those people who do not have college degrees, but work their asses off cleaning our buildings/streets and growing our delicious food. We raise up celebrities like Paris Hilton for inheriting money and fucking up our perceptions of what it means to be successful in this world. But it’s not you and me I’m worried about… we did live during a time when cell phones were the fantasy “Zack Morris Brick Phone” and the internet was only accessible through our phone lines via AOL (Remember the sweet sign in noise that would wake parents at all hours of the night?). We do have a sense of what it means to climb a tree outside instead of climb a tree through a video monitor. I’m a 3rd grade teacher and am seriously concerned about our youngest generation and the quick fix remedies that we have so generously shoved in their faces. I have actually had a child say to me, “I will never need to know multiplication because I will always have my iPhone to calculate those answers for me.” Now we’re fixin’ for the computer remedy for our brains. I don’t have a quick fix for how to teach the discipline we need so badly, but I’m trying to do it one classroom at a time. Got any ideas?

    As for the 7 day abs, I have an electronic machine for that.

    Thanks for the post. I’m waiting oh so patiently for the album to drop. 🙂 Will you make it to Seattle?

  21. SarahLee23 Says:

    Ah…I totally understand where you’re coming from on this one, Kate! I think that with all of the advancements that we have in society today, that it’s hard NOT to expect instant gratification! Sign me up for being a part of the Quick Fix Club, too…although I am trying to be much better about it! 🙂

    Also, I wanted to post it here for others to see….

    this week, I am having a contest to win the NEW “FINDING MY OWN WAY” CD ( once it’s released, of course!). Please click on my name for more info!!! Everyone is encouraged to enter, as anyone can win ( yes, even if you live outside of the US! Yea!!).

    Hang in there, Kate…know that we all love you and Jill! 🙂

    Hugs,
    Sarah

  22. Sue Says:

    ^^^ Sarah, I don’t see the contest?

  23. Monica Says:

    I thought of another quick fix…
    I remembered 4 years ago, in like 7th grade how much I hated those assignments that invovled reading and answering quesetions…
    Because seriously? Who read them? We just looked through the reading to get the answers.
    I still remember this conversation from 4 years ago with my friend…

    “You know how on the computer that you can find a certain word on your word document or whatever? I wish you can do that when it comes to books so you don’t have to actually read”

    And, I still feel that way

  24. Pam Says:

    ^I COMPLETELY AGREE.

    control+f, or when i’m on my mac apple+f = my savior during class when my teachers lecture and i have to take notes.

    but there should deff be one for textbooks, seriously.

  25. SarahLee23 Says:

    Sorry, Sue! I meant to come back and say that the contest is postponed for a little bit…hang on, though! I am going to post another one soon! Thanks for checking it out, Sue! 🙂

    Hugs,
    Sarah

  26. Marley Says:

    Kate your blog is oh so true. I’m glad that someone finally wrote that. I’ve been thinking the same thing lately. I wish I could quick fix my JOB right about now but it does not seem to be working….Oh well! All I do know is that whatever you work really hard for it is more rewarding in the end. Maybe that’s why I don’t fell rewarded lately…. I’m don’t seem to be working hard for anything.

    Nice blog Kate and I’m sorry that I am extremely late on a response. My life is just way to chaotic right now and I can’t seem to write anything lately.

    But thinks for the motivation!

    Later– Marley

  27. Brooke Says:

    Very well written. Too bad we can’t just push the easy button. 🙂

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