When You Try and Tell The Wrong Story

In life I think we all have a story to tell. Things are happening to you and not the person next to you for a specific reason. It’s hard at times because well…maybe you’re the only person you know that’s had a specific circumstance or situation fall into your lap and you are like…what the heck…how am I supposed to cope/survive with this? On the flip side, things might be way better than you ever imagined or dreamed. Β Or what if your life becomes a story that you weren’t planning on telling? I think we all have a story to tell.

But, I think a trap that a lot of people fall into (I wish I could exclude myself but nope, I am definitely including myself)…is when you try and tell someone else’s story. You know, when your story isn’t working out so well and you see a friend get that nice job promotion or your best friend found that perfect 10 of a man and is now living the fairytale “happily ever after” cliche…you can start to envy these people and their stories and want your story to look more like theirs. That’s the trap.Β Your mind starts wandering and wondering, and then bam….you’re thinking…I should start to be more like them right? That person went to that college so maybe I should too…or that person loves this certain kind of music so I should too…or that person wears short skirts…maybe I should wear short skirts. Ok, that last example was horrible..but you get what I mean. Just because you look at someone’s life and think…man, they must have it all together…doesn’t mean that you should try and become mini-versions of them & get mixed up trying to copy their story.

Don’t get me wrong…I am all about having people in your life that help guide & shape you. But they key is that they shape YOU….that you aren’t becoming other versions of their stories, but that they are helping shape YOUR story. I think God made you & made you on purpose. Because seriously, you are the only person on the planet with YOUR story. With your fingerprints. With your heart. With your life. You have a story to tell. You might not know it yet….or you might be avoiding your true story but you’ve got one. Your story in unique. Why would you want to be a copy of someone else’s story…I mean…it’s their story…they’ve got it covered. Be you. Do your own thing. Your story can change people. Your story is great. Your story can help people. Don’t be afraid to live YOUR story.

Ok, I’ve typed the word “story” so much it was wigging me out…I literally just went and checked that I was spelling it right…you know…you’ve written a word so many times that it all of a sudden looks foreign to you…yup…that’s my cue to wrap it up.

Love yourself and your story. You never know who needs to hear it.



49 Responses to “When You Try and Tell The Wrong Story”

  1. Amber Says:

    What a great message! If everyone was just okay with everyone being themselves, this world would be a lot more peaceful and accepting!

  2. Kirsty Says:

    Oh my gosh I was just thinking about this kinda same thing when I got your txt update, so thank you. You’ve helped me to start thinking a better way about myself! Fate? I think so! :Dxx

  3. Mary b Says:

    Very nice Kate. It’s hard to not want what someone else has though, especially when ur story is crap right now yunno and you aren’t where you wanna be in ur own story. But it does help me when I read blogs like this : ) hopefully im able to get where I wanna go but for now I gotta love what God has given me so far : )

  4. krista Says:

    reading that whole thing inspires me……thanks kate…. πŸ™‚

  5. Fiorella Says:

    Wow kate… I just read this and now im smiling. Weirdly i kinda talk about this with my mom last week haha. You were truly inspired when you wrote this. Anyway, we never know when our story will change. Maybe this night something super awesome will happen. Or tomorrow, next year, 5 years We never know. But it’ll happen. πŸ™‚ or at least i hope so x) Well i hope your story gets better cause you’re such a good person. You deserve it. ❀

  6. Anita prudon Says:

    This is so true. Enjoy Your life as it is. Things, Good ore bad, happen for a reason. Learn from them and move on. Be yourself, not a copy.
    Love ya …xxx

  7. Stacey L. Says:

    Kate, I really feel you on this topic. It’s strange to think how we make certain life decisions and we’re so sure of it for so long until one day you hear someone elses “story” and imagine if that were you. And how great that would be and how much happier you could be.

    The mind starts to warp it self into thinking that you have to become like that person. You don’t always do it conciously but often it’s sub-concious. Before you know it you’re aiming to follow the same path as the person you aspire to be so much like. A song that reminds me of this is KT Tunstall “Suddenly I See.”

    I try and choose to live vicariously THROUGH people instead of trying to warp myself to their image. Like you guys!! I think of your story and what you’ve been through to get to where you are and it’s an absolute dream to me. Almost where it doesn’t seem real. But, I know that if I am meant to be where you guys are it’s not going to be the same way as you. It’s just going to work itself out in it’s own way. I listen to “I Can’t Remember What It’s Like” and I find myself longing to think the same things. Appreciating the crazy life but really missing a “normal” life.

    Anyways… I’ve rambled enough. πŸ™‚ Great post!

  8. Pam Says:

    With or without the religious aspect, I believe that you are you and have something to offer that no one else does. I do, however, find myself often comparing my life to other people’s lives and think “wow EVERYONE has accomplished this…why haven’t I? Is there something wrong with me?” In a sense, it’s kind of peer pressure, and not giving in yet has made me feel even further “behind the crowd,” but in a sense, I’ve felt stronger.

    (wow that was legit word vomit, sorry about that!)

    I do know that I have traits/stories that not many people I know have, which makes me unique, and I am so proud of that. This accounts to everyone and I hope your blog makes people want to flaunt their uniqueness. πŸ™‚

    I found this picture yesterday and thought you might enjoy it: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_la27adaMrj1qcvgt5o1_500.png

    Thanks for this Kate πŸ™‚ (and if you read my entire comment, snaps for you haha)

  9. Erin Says:

    you said story so many times it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.
    but i agree with you. be you people πŸ™‚

  10. ChasingStorms Says:

    i hate my story, seriously. i really don’t wanna tell anyone cause it’ll just bum people off… i want your story. trade with me please!
    it even bums me off, it’s sad tragic and ugh! oh man u really got me thinking here 😦


  11. Erin Says:

    Wow. Such a profound message put into a simple format. Everyone has a story to tell, and if you’re not the one telling your story, who will tell it for you?

  12. kztn Says:

    the word ‘story’ is stuck in my head after reading this… LOL,,, but all in all, INSPIRING.. couldn’t said these things any better.. thanks for sharing.. perfectly said (maybe not, coz of too much ‘story’) ^_^

  13. frenchcha Says:

    Thanks, Kate ! It helps me a little. My day didn’t start very well, I cried a lot. And I hate that. I often think I’d like to be another person, life seems so cool and easy for some people… But you have to live your own story and to write it everyday, even when your day’s not fun. I really enjoy your blogs, it’s always reassuring to know some people (great people !!!!) have the same doubts. xoxo

  14. Selena Says:

    Oh, how I enjoy the J&K words of wisdom blogs! You’re right, Kate. It’s probably a fairly common practice, especially for those whose story, by comparison is decidedly less happy or seemingly stuck in writer’s block, but sometimes people get so caught up in the stories of another/others that they start modeling their own on them or perhaps, even putting it on the backburner, in some vain attempt to be someone or something than they really are or at least live vicariously through the person(s). Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having role models and aspirations, but at some point, I guess we all need to pick up the pen and take control of our own narrative, to become the hero, and not the victim or secondary character, because we’re all here for a purpose. Okay, so maybe my metaphorical speaking isn’t the best at this moment, but hopefully the point was made.

  15. gypsygies Says:

    You have so many young admirers I thank you SO MUCH for just saying this.
    I love the deep, thoughtful, soulful and passionate blogs you post Kate.

    I myself have always been overly-headstrong and fiercely independent – the Individual is King in my book… but I have suffered much for that…and you know what? I am A-OK with that. I’ll die as myself. I love both of you, I absolutely love and adore Miss Kelly – but I wouldn’t be any of you for anything. Your lives are great, a billion times better than mine actually – but I’m ok with that – because I’m simply satisfied to be *me*.

  16. Miriam Says:

    Well, this was a little gem of a blog. Thanks for sharing it. The thing about wanting or wishing for someone’s story is that…how someone reacts, deals, appreciates, their situation is completely colored by their experiences to that point.

    Sure, you think someone found the perfect 10….maybe he/she is, but for that person. Doesn’t mean they’d be perfect for you.

    Not to mention, nothing is ever perfect. Seeing something from the outside does not mean you know the whole story. Personally, the key is appreciating and loving what comes to your life. It was there put there for a purpose. Find what that is and grow from it. And GO FORWARD!

  17. Danielle Says:

    My story reads a lot like that of Rapunzel. It’s a shame Walt didn’t get to read this blog before his blatant plagiarism. πŸ˜‰

    I think we learn growing up, not to try to base our own stories on those of others. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson to learn, and sometimes you just get so caught up that you don’t even realise you’re doing it. When i look back at my school days i can see it much more clearly.

    There are so many influences throughout life that you begin to forget to be true to yourself or even how to embrace the things YOU like. I think music is a very good example of this.

  18. Jasmine Says:

    Great “story”!! kidding…. Really, great message Kate!
    Thanks for doing what you do and inspiring so many (including myself) in such a positive way.
    Keep up the good work!

  19. marie Says:

    Thank you kate! This inspired me in two ways. For one it inspired me to stop worrying so much about accomplishing what other people are accomplishing, but to rather accomplish what I want. Secondly, it sparked a new idea for my novel and gave me some incentive to keep on writing.

  20. morganax Says:

    wow, thanks for this…it made me cry because i have been struggling with this concept for a while now. and this helped put some of it focus for me and to stay on the path of enjoying/cherishing my story instead of wanting others story.
    thank you.

  21. Jennifer Says:

    I so wanted to see the positive side to this blog but all the way through I found myself going “Well in which case……I need a new writer cause my story sucks ass” Sorry to be a downer haha but it’s so true.
    Some of our stories as much as we want will never be all that amazing, it’s just the way life goes.

  22. Monica Says:


  23. Jamie Says:

    This is a great blog. Sometimes I think you need to be writing a daily thoughts article. You have some deep concepts that are enjoyable to read. Very Joyce Meyer-esque. Peace out girl scout.

  24. anakellya Says:

    thank you for putting into words what we’re all thinking.
    most people think it’s hard to say “i love you” but really, the hardest thing is to love yourself. i still haven’t figured out how to yet.
    i suppose we spend so much time living our lives so wrapped up in the future and worrying about the past that we forget that we are creating a story along the way in the present.
    okay that probably made no sense but anyway, thank you! πŸ™‚ xoxo

  25. Lynne Says:

    the past couple weeks/longer have been rough and been very down and i dont know if this blog makes me happy or sad but all i know is it points out a great messaga and was so well written. I want to take it positivly and go and write my own story but i dont know if i’m ready yet and hopefully i will be able to get out of this funk.

    Either way this blog was just so true, eye opening, inspiring…..I always look forward to you guys stories, blogs, vlogs and maybe sometimes to much so but i would really like to take this message and use it. Thanks for sharing this with us πŸ™‚

  26. Jaclyn Says:

    So true. There are so many things about my story that I don’t like. I wish it was different and sometimes I think “why can’t my life be more like theirs?” when I see someone that’s happy and has all these opportunities open to them and things just seem to always go the way they want. I guess it’s time to stop looking at other peoples’ stories like that and focus more on my own. How I want it to go, not how I think it should go based on other people.

    This blog sort of gave me a moment of clarity. I’m feeling inspired now.

  27. Tiffany Says:

    I believe that our struggles are “chosen” for us for a very beautiful reason….even though we don’t understand it when we are going through it….but I think that we are chosen to go through things in order to be the light for someone else when someone else is walking through a darkness where they just can’t see a light at the end…

    I think we are that light…we are that soul that their soul can recognize and know they are not alone.

    You can never ever know what a person has had to go through to get to where they are….BIG lesson.

    Be grateful for your challenges…they give you the gift of shining in the world.

  28. amanda Says:

    Such a great and inspiring blog. I’ve been having a rough week and needed to read this. Thank you. =]

  29. Kassie Says:

    You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.
    A friend posted that on Twitter and I thought it would fit πŸ™‚
    You’ve really got me thinking now. This is definitely something I have struggled with for years. So thank you πŸ™‚

  30. randy Says:


  31. Boston_Holly Says:

    It’s strange, as I was reading this blog I thought about how I knew exactly the point you were trying to make, but I never thought to look at it in the framework of a “story”. Now of course, I have spent most of the day thinking about MY story and working towards accepting my story just the way it is, instead of comparing it to someone else’s or trying to put a revisionist spin on it. My story has made me who I am…and I’m pretty darn awesome if I do say so myself. Thanks Kate!

  32. Jessica Louise Says:

    This bought me to tears! Amazing words of wisdom! Thank you for sharing what was on your heart, I can see it touched not only me but many others. Keep it coming – you have a talent for writing and you can really see God’s light shining through all you have written! Blessings x

  33. Hailey Bart Says:

    That right there has been my plan for the last 4 or 5 years. I’ve told my story many times and it’s helped so many people. And I tell everyone to be themselves and share theirs. Sometimes it’s so hard for people to be vulnerable and actually break down their walls to know that they have a story. Great post<3 xo

  34. Lauren elle Says:

    Kate, it’s like you just know where my head is at! That’s like the 5th time you’ve posted a blog at the right time for me.. I feel the need to print this off to have it on hand!

  35. Shari Says:

    I too love these heartful, meaningful & from the heart blogs.

    We all have purpose it just takes some longer to figure that out…..

    I a still waiting for my own fairytale and so lucky have the friends I do have! It does get hard at times waiting but I am hoping it is well worth the wait!

    Thanks Kate for the post!

  36. MJ Says:

    Damn Kate. You’re GOOD.

  37. kiri Says:

    Kate! Insperational especially for a 17 year old. I can so relate to this. Love it. Thanks.

  38. Lauren M. Says:

    As I was reading this blog I got emotional and I started to think about my story. I’ve been through a lot, medical wise having a learning disability that i’ve been struggling with my whole life. But, I get through it with prayer and I work hard and I have a lot of confidence in myself. I’m just blessed, whether I go through hard times or good times and I’m glad I’m able to learn from it in then end.

    Thanks for the inspiration Kate:)

  39. eric Says:

    thank you. it’s great to see famous people like you posting things like this that can really help people.i’m glad to see you doing this,you’re helping people to see things,not many people famous or otherwise take the time to spread the messasges that you’re trying to send.God bless,and i hope you will continue,and that people will continue to read on.

  40. Erin Says:

    I absolutely loved this blog as pretty much everyone else has said. I had a really difficult time dealing with this from about high school until early college years. I learned the hard way that one of the worst things that you can do is to not be yourself because eventually your true self is going to come out, you can’t hide from it. I wanted to escape myself so badly and looking back, i don’t even know why. I ended up completely losing myself and was depending on everyone else to tell me who I was. It took me a long time to realize just how lucky I am and that I shouldn’t take it for granted. I am so much lighter and happier now since I stopped running away from myself. Thanks for writing this. It touched me and obviously a lot of other people too πŸ™‚

    And this doesn’t really have much to do with any of this haha but I love this quote…Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart

  41. Esther Says:

    You are so incredibly brave to be so honest. We are so often taught to hide our weaknesses and pain. I’m impressed with your wisdom. Thanks & blessings.

  42. higzy646 Says:

    pretty deep, sounds like your talking about someone to be honest. i couldn’t write like that if it wasn’t something real i felt. you should write a book to help people or something. live love laugh is my motto and its working 100% for me atm, if you don’t ask you don’t get. bravo kate *pat on the back* x

  43. Khitam Says:

    Have you seen “Being John Malkovich”…I watched it in my film class and it is one mind fuck of a movie. People take turns seeing seeing the world through this actor’s eyes. For me, just because someone is famous and in the lime light, doesn’t make them more important than I am. My story means something too and I want to tell it how it is intended, through my own eyes.

    Your blog helped me write my writing assignment for class so thanks for that.

  44. Vicky Says:

    This is what I needed to hear. Been a very difficult month for me. Actually making sure that somone else’s story does not get lost in the big scheme of things, that they mattered and that they were important and should be remembered. Thank you for your words. My friend who is in heaven now had a story, and I am honored I got to share it with people. Again, thank you.

  45. cassie Says:

    so inspirational!! love it! ❀ ps i hope you dont mind but i'm going to quote you for my facebook status later : ) don't worry, i'll credit you haha much love! thanks for the thoughts!

  46. Regine Says:

    I read this late one night, a few days ago and have only commented now. You’ll have to forgive me in advance for the length of this comment.

    This truly touched me reading it because I feel like sometimes this is me. I truly believe that each and every one of us is unique and has a purpose, whether or not we realize what it is or how we are supposed to go about it. Or maybe there are lots of people who have the purpose but they’re meant to achieve it in different ways.

    I sometimes get caught in the mentality of wishing I had someone else’s story, not because mine is horrible or tragic, but because I think it’s boring, mundane, uneventful and not unique (although, maybe in someone’s eyes it’s the opposite) while others may have a more interesting, happy, exciting one. I wish I could travel more when I see pictures and hear the stories of friends that have come back from their latest worldly excursions. I witness the natural talents that others have that I don’t (paint/sing/dance/play an instrument/sports, etc) and envy them because I could put in 110% into learning how and never do these things as well as them. Or the friends who are around my age who are in serious committed relationships with great guys and wonder how I could have that written into my story RIGHT NOW, because then my story would be “perfect” as society dictates (which I’m also reminded of constantly by others): the girl from a good family, with reliable friends, with the university education that got her a stable and blossoming career, with “Mr. Right”.

    Despite those things, I am also humbly reminded that maybe these things aren’t meant to be part of my story, either in this chapter of my life, or at all, and am also grateful and blessed for my story thus far – challenges, triumphs, heartaches, smiles and laughter, and everything in between.

    As much as I may want your story, or my friends’ stories, or a celebrity’s success story, etc. my story is my own, and I should be proud of it because it has shaped me into who I am! Thank you for writing and sharing this Kate, because it is so significant. I think you can tell by the comments just how inspirational it is.

  47. tiffany black Says:

    There are millions of reasons to allow pain and hurt and suffering rather than to eradicate them, but most of these reasons can only be understood within each person’s story. I am not evil. You are the ones who embrace fear and pain and power and rights so readily in your relationships. But your choices are not stronger than my purposes, and I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome

    Both evil and darkness can only be understood in relation to Light and Good; they do not have any actual existence. I am Light and I am Good. I am Love and there is no darkness in me. Light and Good actually exist. So, removing yourself from me will plunge you into darkness. Declaring independence will result in evil because apart from me, you can only draw upon yourself. That is death because you have separated from me: Life

    (my favorites from The Shack)

  48. Keri reck Says:

    Wow. I never thought of it in that way. I mean I guess it is important, my story. Your story. Her story, his. We’ve all got different ones, and we need to make sure we get them heard before it’s too late.

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