So, you know the feeling of burning yourself on a curling iron (guys…you might not be familiar with this…but just go with me.) It sucks. It’s often a minor injury but dang…IT HURTS. And if you’ve had a major run in with a curling iron and gotten a more serious burn, that REALLY sucks. Worst feeling ever.
That experience might lead you to never wanting to pick up a curling iron again. Much less, ever go near another curling iron again…OR ever be in the same room as one. No matter what kind of joy it once gave you…those awesome curls, the great volume & texture…the confidence…all out the window because you never want to pick up a curling iron. Because then you are opening yourself up to the possibility of getting burned again. And who likes getting burned twice? Not this kid.
So, you will settle for straight hair because straight hair is safe. There is no danger in getting burned. There is no fear that that heat will singe your skin and make you scream. There is no possibility of going through that dreadful pain & tears if you just never pick up another curling iron again. Just stay away.
Sometimes the reminder of the burn stays with us forever. Sometimes it’s physical. Many times it’s emotional. That pit at the bottom of your stomach, the anxiety, the heart pounding and trembling hands.
That’s how I feel about life sometimes. Certain situations have left me so burned that I never want to open myself up to them again. Just stick to the simple, straight hair and never venture to the wavy or mega curls again.
Some of us think that it’s their fault that they keep getting burned. It’s not. They think “…Well, I was stupid enough to pick up the curling iron” or “This curling iron looks MUCH safer than my last one” or “I’ve learned so much since I last tried curling my hair.” It’s not your fault. Evaluate. The purpose of a curling iron is NOT to burn you. But sometimes it happens.
Silly to compare life to a curling iron, I know…but it’s a practical analogy I could relate it to. So what do we do folks? Close ourselves off to everything that’s in the shape/form of a curling iron or anything that’s hot? No. Cause then we have the potential of missing out on so much. And who likes to miss out on stuff? DEFINITELY not this kid. (I mean, I LOVE curly hair!)
Set healthy boundaries. Take extra precaution when near curling irons. Be ultra aware. But know that not every curling iron is gonna burn you.
Love yourselves & know it does get better and burns do heal.
-k
JillandKate's Blog 
April 19, 2011 at 11:09 am |
Once again a blog (much like y’alls new song) hit home with me. Live life fully.. but some things do need precaution.
Thank y’all for sharing y’alls feelings bc it seems y’all have been through similar “burns” like me makes me feel I’m not alone.
April 19, 2011 at 11:17 am |
It always hurts to get burned. But the wounds do heal and the scars remind us that we have lived.
Let’s keep on living. 🙂
April 19, 2011 at 11:21 am |
Kate –
you are so wise beyond your years. I love reading what you and Jill have to say on these types of subjects. You’re pretty much awesome. And yes, the experience of never wanting to pick up the curling iron again has happened for most, if not, all of us. But it’s how we choose to handle the burn and handle what happens afterward that shapes us and helps us learn and grow as a person.
This blog made my day 🙂
Love you girls!
April 19, 2011 at 11:26 am |
Yeah you have to watch out for getting too neurotic about it, though.
People can spend so much on setting their “boundaries” that they’re actually Telling themselves they’re “healthy boundaries” but in reality they are actually cutting themselves off entirely and using that as an excuse. They can be so ultra-aware *on the lookout* for something strange or potentially hurtful that *that’s all they see* … you see what you are Looking for.
I absolutely love this statement, Kate: “Evaluate. The purpose of a curling iron is NOT to burn you.” So many folk lose sight of that.
Shit happens. You yourself have burned others, without that being your intention. It happens. Take each experience in life for _itself_ and do not lump it all together as a generalization or you’ll have no emotional choice but to shut yourself off. When we psychologically overwhelm *ourselves* by unnecessary lumping everything together in one Mass we create psychological Black Holes. Take everything _as it Is_ and not for what something else was.
April 19, 2011 at 11:45 am |
Oh and P.S. – once back in the 70’s when I was a kid – my only brother…Mr. Teenage Macho I Love The Military Boy… burned himself with my sister’s curling iron! He was trying to add a little wave to his hair – and trying to be sneaky about borrowing Lore’s curling iron until the scream. haha.
April 19, 2011 at 11:52 am |
this just made my day.
we are not aloneee :]
April 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm |
This is exactly what I needed to hear today thanks… Maybe today will be the day I pick the “curling iron” back up
April 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm |
I couldn’t agree more with your post and I love the analogy.
We all have that internal “gut” feeling that lets us know when something is right and when its wrong. Some people don’t trust it and think they will give the curling iron that burned them just one more chance, when in reality maybe you just need a new curling iron. Maybe the curling iron you’ve had that burned you is no longer functioning properly. And if that’s the case, retire it for a new one.
There are so many curling irons to choose from. Just be sure to no select the same exact curling iron model when you know the last one had a faulty fuse. Take a walk on the wild side…choose a curling iron with polka dots or one that has more features. You never know, your new curling iron could give you the best curls in the world, making you feel like you never thought you could about yourself…so good that you forget all about that faulty, crappy curling iron.
Life’s too short to stick with the straight hair all the time. Playing too safe is boring. You’ve gotta have a healthy balance and listen to your “gut” to weed out the bad or the “just not good enough”.
April 19, 2011 at 1:09 pm |
This is one of the funniest analogies ever. Seriously. But great message you’re trying to convey!
April 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm |
that was soo deep i forgot you were even talking about curling irons.. haha.
April 19, 2011 at 2:04 pm |
While I am in agreement with the majority and openness of your analogy about life and curling irons (as I cut my hair very short nowadays curling irons are nonexistent in my life, but in the day I had my share of burns) I do think that getting burned in some cases can be one’s own fault. Take me for example. I finally realized after a couple of intense relationships that ended badly there were certain characteristics inherent in both parties that just didn’t mesh. No matter how cliched it sounds getting burned should be a learning experience. Ie: maybe you got burned from your curling iron cause you held it wrong…maybe you just weren’t watching what you were doing. If you love doing something then do it, just know that there will be pitfalls and where they might possibly land. Then there is always paying someone to do your hair….but then that doesn’t necessarily keep you free of any mishaps.
April 19, 2011 at 3:42 pm |
straighteners are dangerous too! i got my ear a while ago so we’re fighting. i’m currently friends with the curling iron and not the straightener. that is until it decides to fight back. then i suppose i’ll go back to the straightener. it’s a sick cycle really.
April 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm |
Kate, I love the way you explained your thoughts! You’re so right. I try to tell myself everyday that by not doing other stuff and get into the world out there, there is danger of missing out on a lot of things, but sticking to the same routine just feels a lot safer.
Oh and may I add that people who have straight hair want curls and vice versa. We need to start being happier with the things we have 😉
My hair is kinda curly and I’m fine with that but I love it when I get a haircut and my hair is straightened. I’m just too lazy to buy and use that thing.
LOVE THE BLOG! Hopefully the burn heals quickly!
April 19, 2011 at 4:13 pm |
Such a timely blog Kate. I know a certain guy who behaved like a curling iron this week and at the moment I don’t want to go anywhere near any sort of hair styling appliances. Not a curling iron, or a hair dryer, or a crimper! I will let my hair be free. But it gets unruly, particularly in the humid weather, so I know I will go back to a curling iron in the future, but it is likely going to be a different make and model. 😉
April 19, 2011 at 5:41 pm |
Wow, what a great analogy and another very relatable blog! Thanks! 🙂
You’re right…it’s wise to be careful, especially in situations where we’ve been burned before, but the harm isn’t always going to be inherent in every somewhat similar situation. Sometimes there’s a danger in playing it too safe. Obviously, we want to protect ourselves from harm, but closing ourselves off and missing out on what could be a positive experience isn’t the answer either. Maybe moderation is key…a little caution and a little risk. We just need to know when to exercise each. Just some thoughts.
April 19, 2011 at 7:34 pm |
i didn’t mean to laugh at this, but i just had to…….i am the worst ever a picking up both my straightner and my curling iron from the wrong end!!!! i have permanent scars, mind you, it doesn’t stop me from jumping right bqack on the horse and giving it another go!!! Although i do think the key to this is…the morning, i am always so sleepy when i have to get ready for the day!! hahaha
April 19, 2011 at 8:50 pm |
Odd but perfect analogy!!! Kate I love these blogs. Thanks!
April 19, 2011 at 9:37 pm |
great blog the analogy was perfect 🙂
April 19, 2011 at 9:40 pm |
what about the burns that leave scars that go away but come back when you get a tan? haha
loved this. so true but so hard to follow sometimes. this is a nice reminder 😉
April 19, 2011 at 10:19 pm |
Some of the most interesting people I know have a few scars, it’s what makes them interesting. You get burned and when you do give yourself time to heal then bust out the curling iron and start all over again!
April 20, 2011 at 12:59 am |
Kate-thanks so much for posting this today. I read it between teaching classes(I am a high school teacher) and decided to read it to my Advisory class. It fit right in with the discussion we were having about sharing our feelings with people and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in order to get things off our chest and to deal with the hard things life sometimes hands us. My students(who are often distant and uninterested) listened closely as I read this post to them and had lots to add to the conversation about their reactions to what you had written. We often don’t realize the effect we have on those around us and I just wanted you to know that this post, which may not have seemed to be a huge deal to write, had a great impact on young people in Utah. Thanks again for sharing and come visit Utah soon!!! 🙂
April 20, 2011 at 8:19 am |
Between Jill’s sailing and Kate’s curling iron, I think there’s some great advice in this lovely ol’ blog. But this one reminds me that I really need to go shopping for a new curling iron. Hmm… 😉
April 20, 2011 at 11:12 am |
I always love reading these kind of posts.. very inspiring 😀
May 4, 2011 at 6:15 am |
Wow. Relates so much to me right now. Thanks guys x.